dear Coldplay haters,

lets talk about how much we all hate Coldplay.
lets talk about how infinitely better all the other bands we listen to are.
lets compare every word Chris Martin has ever written and sung,
to every other word written and sung by every other artist in the world.

after that, we should critique every note and melody for being unoriginal.
because no true musician or artist would ever let themselves be influenced by artists that preceded them. (or be honest about it, ahem Daft Punk.)

and when we’ve run out of negative things to say about the music,
we should probably extend our dislike to personal attacks on their front man.
we can all discuss how <> he is, not only for making music,
but for existing as well.
how dare he.

or, and please bear with me, because this is only a suggestion,
we could not take ourselves so seriously.

and maybe,
we can choose not to listen to music we don’t appreciate,
without being judge jury and executioner.
(i don't remember Ms. Spears's album getting such subjective reviews...)

just a thought.

i know how rare an occasion it is for us music snobs to prove how much more pretentious we are than one another…so by all means, if it’s too tempting, don’t let this chance pass you by…
tear them to shreds…

p.s. Chris Martin sends his love.